A tough week

My first week without Mike was pretty awful.  Yes, I missed my better half dearly, but the situation was compounded by the fact that my beloved PSU was on every TV channel, plastered on the Internet, and in a continuous stream of posts on Facebook. I am by no means an author, but felt it necessary to share some of my thoughts on the events of the past week. 

Learning of the heinous crimes which were committed over such a long period of time (including the time while i was a student at PSU) definitely broke my heart, especially thinking of the children and families who were impacted by these actions.  Its even more upsetting to see the monster who committed the crimes proclaim his innocence. 

However, I cannot express the betrayal that I (we) feel as loyal and proud Penn State grads.  The institution which was so good to us, gave us a great education, amazing experiences, and life lessons which will not be forgotten, has betrayed the trust and the pride of its followers.  For an institution, such as Penn State football, which symbolizes the "good" associated with college sports, it is hard to accept the fact that it is not as pure as you have always believed. 

For decades, Joe Paterno has been a role model, mentor, and improver of the university.  I believe I was introduced to JoePa and PSU football at age 8, and have not looked back since!  He has been the constant in Penn State football that alumni have returned to see time and time again.  You knew that even if Joe was not on the sidelines, you could find him in the press box, looking down on us all.  Despite all the changes happening in the world around us, Joe was always there.  It is devastating to learn that someone held in such high esteem by so many could be aligned with such a terrible scandal.  Especially for someone who works so closely with, and is a role model to, young men on a daily basis.  How could he cover up something so wrong and neglect to do the right thing?

I don't believe we will ever know exactly what drove so many good people to hide the horrible acts of one person.  However, the one thing that I did learn at Penn State is that it is hard to get US down.  Whether canning on snow covered Pittsburgh streets in the dead of winter, early Sunday morning at THON, finals weeks, etc, we rely on each other to help us through the tough spots.  The bond that we share and our desire to prevail is greater than anything that can be thrown our way.  Over the past week, I have met more people in my office who stop by to 'vent' about this awful situation because they see my psu stickers displayed on my cube.    We have banded together in difficult times in the past, and we will continue to do so in the future. 
Not only do we reflect on the loss of a icon, we have taken steps over the past week to make a difference - raising awareness (and money) to combat sexual abuse through social media, word of mouth, and FOOTBALL!  Yes, things have changed, but we will do what we can to restore the integrity of our school.  Take lemons and make lemonade?   Thats why I am forever proud to be a Nittany Lion!

My first night ALONE...

As of today, I live alone.  In my 32+ years, I have never been without roommates, and in the past 16 months, I have never been without my husband.   Sure, we have both traveled, so have spend many nights apart (even for weeks at a time) but tonight it is very different. 

Friday the movers came and packed up his bedroom and the furniture that my awesome friend Olivia donated to our "adventure".  Saturday we drove to NYC (passing the truck with our things halfway up the jersey turnpike!) and ventured into Manhattan to meet up with Jude, Abby and some of my Duke friends - an awesome welcome to our new city!  Sunday they delivered all of our belongings to an apartment in Bayside, NY.  Well, except for the couch which was too big to fit through the door - or the window, for that matter - so we had to "donate" it to the movers.   Today I woke up at 4 am and caught a one-way flight from JFK-IAD, leaving Mike behind. 

This whole thing hit me last night, as we were unpacking the boxes and trying to get him settled.  I was working in the kitchen when he told me that he had finished unpacking his clothes.  A few minutes later I walked into the bedroom and saw his stack of 5 hats on the dresser.  At that point, I totally lost it!  Those hats are supposed to be in our bedroom in VA, not in some random apartment in NYC!  I know that this is for the best in the long run, and its going to be a big adjustment, but little things like that have made me realize that this is for real.  Crazy. 

So tonight, I left work around 8 and came home to an apartment with half the furniture that was here when i came home from work on Thursday.  Nobody was waiting for me with my dinner on a plate in the microwave, and as I type this, nobody is holding my feet as we sit on the couch.  This will take some getting used to. 

I have discovered, however, a few perks of living alone.  I was able to spread a 22 minute episode of "How I Met Your Mother" over a 70 minute span (pausing, rewinding, and re-watching what I missed while making food, talking on the phone, unpacking etc.)  Nobody was trying to flip back and forth with a baseball game, monday night football, or any show that is not HIMYM and then convienantly "forgetting" to switch it back!  I was also able to make dinner without cleaning up my dishes immediately!  Sometimes I don't like to wash dishes right away, but I will always do it before the end of the night.  Someone else who used to live here was not that patient!

Other than that, so far, I have not found too many good things, but I'm sure I'll get used to this.  After all, he will be home on Thursday, and with the holidays, I'll see him pretty much every weekend between now and the end of the year (except for Christmas, which he found out that he has to work the emergency shift - humbug!)

So I am embracing this time as a time to be able to improve myself - I will learn to cook something more than chili mac (which coincidentally, we both made for dinner tonight - unknowing that the other would do the same), I'll get back on my workout schedule, I'll read more, take some classes, maybe volunteer,and spend more time with my girlfreinds!  And for the 4 of you who actually read my blog, hopefully I'll have more time to let you follow along.  Its kinda theraputic to put your feelings into words, so thank you all for listening!

For now, I am hearing that voice that tells me to go scrub my pots, get my clothes off the bed, and pick up my shoes from the middle of the floor, so I guess I'll pay it some mind.  For as strange and difficult as I think my new situation is, at least I don't have to drive in NY traffic!!  I'll keep you posted, should be an interesting ride!

Remembering 9/11 (a few weeks late)

On Sunday, September 11, 2011, we paused to remember those who lost their lives 10 years before. That morning, we attended a memorial service at the new offices which house the Terrorist Screening Center (TSC), where Mike has worked for the last 5 years. The TSC is a fusion center of Government intelligence agencies, which was created following the events of 9/11. It was a very moving and symbolic place to spend such a monumental anniversary. I am a few weeks late in reporting this, but found it so amazing that I wanted to share.

This new building was completed in July 2011, so the finishing touches were being put on the outdoor memorials even up to the week before this event. The trident in the photo above was part of the entryway of the WTC, now displayed in the rear courtyard of the TSC. Of the 5 flagpoles which were salvaged from the WTC, 3 of them are now on the front grounds of the TSC. There are also 4 small monuments directly to the west of the flagpoles (representing the two towers, the pentagon and Shanksville) which were placed such that at the exact time of each attack, the shadow from a flagpole would fall directly onto the corresponding monument.

That morning, flags were flown on the 3 poles which had flown previously at all three sites. At the exact time of each incident, a few words were said, taps was played, and that flag was lowered and replaced with a larger one, along with a flag from the state in which the incident occurred. It was a very nice display.

Despite all of the tragedy and sadness of this day, looking back, I can't help but think that in some strange way this is the event that brought Mike and I together.  Had it not been for 9/11, Mike would never left local law enforcement in PA to move to DC and become one of the first Air Marshalls.  Had I not spent the entire day on 9/11 totally appalled at the lack of compassion displayed by my co-workers at the Texas chemical plant where I was a co-op student at the time, I would probably have been more in favor of returning to Texas after graduation. "Eh, all that is happening in New York, we are in Texas, why are you so concerned?" is what several of them said to me as I sat glued to the TV.  Instead, we both ended up in VA within months of each other.  And, after 5 years of following the 'alternate' path, we finally met.  And the rest is history.

So as we paused to remember all the bad that happened that day, I also remembered a few glimpses of good.  Our country is far more aware and prepared now to deal with the unexpected, and I have Mike.  Silver lining?  I'd say so. 

Have not kept my promise!

Um, when did it become October? I came home yesterday to a pumpkin sitting on the kitchen table (love my husband!), not to mention the fact that it was 44 (F, not C) on Saturday morning. So yes, the undoubtable truth is that Fall has fallen, neither Penn State nor the Steelers are off to a good start to the season (although I still love JoePa!), and I have not kept my blog promise that I made almost a month ago! I will see Em in just 9 short days, so I will do my best to recap some of the september adventures before then! Stay tuned...

Long time...

I want to be a blogger, I really do! I wish I had as much discipline as my friends. I had every intention of being an active updater following my second post, however, I was soon after wisked away into 6 weeks of work/fun travel followed by 8 more weeks of summer weddings/showers/ bachelorette parties /vacations etc. I was definately inspired by my freind Emily (I've known her since we were like 5) at a friend's wedding when she told me that she actually enjoyed reading my posts (all 2 of them!) as I was still able to live the carefree life without kids. The last 6 months have been awesome, and I actually regret that I didn't document or share them. Maybe I'll do a quick recap soon! But, I think the most interesting is yet to come starting in November - when my husband follows his career to NYC and I stay in DC to follow mine. Ideal - absolutely not! But we will make the best of it, and enjoy all that both cities have to offer! I will get to have "date weekends" almost every weekend - and in two of my favorite cities. Not to mention all ofthe freimds closeby. Will be an adventure...and I promise to blog about it, or at least be better than before! Em, you can call me out if I let you down again by the time I see you in October! Stay tuned!

We survivied another February!

Each year, I struggle to find good things about the month of February. The month is so cold and dreary, and it really is the only thing standing between us and springtime. Usually, I celebrate the Super Bowl, as it is the last time until at least October that my weekend activities will be influenced by what time Steeler game is on. This year, after resisting for the past 3 seasons, I decided to just give in and join Mike in his obsession. Unfortunately, there was not much celebrating following that game :-(

Although, on Super Bowl Sunday, I was able to save my good friend Rachel from some temporary post-delivery insanity with some Steeler Smiley cookies, delivered straight from 'da burgh, and was able to meet her new baby Dean! He is such a cutie, and was probably the youngest baby that I have ever held. He didn't scream either, which was encouraging for this non-mother! I love that his head is smaller than the smiley cookie.

Speaking of near-term birth control, Mike and I made a visit to Pittsburgh the last weekend in January. I am very lucky that my husband's family lives in Pgh, and therefore we make it up there often, because two of my best friends from college live there. Trips to 'da burgh are not only trips to see the Pascarella clan, but I get to see Diana and Angela much more than I would otherwise, which is awesome! On our most recent visit, we had made lunch plans which Angela (who was 15 days away from giving birth) and her husband Denis. We decided to take our 8-year old neice Bailey with us for the day. Bailey and Ang were already friends, as Bailey was the adorable flower girl in my wedding, so we figured it was a good opportunity to bring her along for a special trip with Auntie Alex and Uncle Michael. No joke, as soon as Bailey got into the car, she started talking! Gosh that kid has a lot of energy! At some point, she confesses that her daddy told her Uncle Michael wouldn't mind if she was a chatterbox, so don't be shy (thanks Steven)! So we did what any sensible auntie and uncle would have done in this situation - we took her to lunch, fed her lots of hot chocolate, cookies, and other sugars, and sent her home to mom and dad! All in all, we had a great time, and I think she a had a fun day too!

We also welcomed Mike's dad, Ray, to DC for a weekend visit in February. He flew down, his first plane ride in 10 years, and we had a great weekend! Since it was the dead of winter, we did little besides eat, drink and relax, but we still had a terrific time, and I think he enjoyed the change of scenery.

Continuing the tour of babies for 2011, I also had the priviledge of meeting Lucas, adorable son of Jen and Eric, more friends from college. We popped up to Philly to meet the little guy during a trip to Delaware to visit Julie and Joe. I held Lucas for about an hour and a half. He screamed for the first 30 minutes, but eventually calmed down and fell asleep. I guess there is hope for me! We were able to spend a nice night with Julie, Joe and their adorable pugs. We had a great tapas dinner followed by a trip to their favorite Wilmington pub. Julie and I were hit on by 21 year olds, even after explaining that we were actually married to the guys sitting next to us. Apparently, we were so attractive, that they were willing to risk life and limb to continue the stimulating conversation. Either that or they were too drunk to understand what it means when I said the "my husband fights terrorists on airplanes." Oh well, Jules and I have now confirmed that we still got it (at least when it comes to 21 year olds on a friend's bar tour!)

Since the month of march will start in 14 minutes, pretty safe to say that I did indeed survive another February! With Feb being my least favorite month of the year, I always have so much more hope when March arrives! Up next, a work trip to Brussels followed by a weekend in The Netherlands with friends from Duke, the annual Huvane St Pats Party (my 7th year in attendance!), and a trip to NYC at the end of the month. Hopefully the sun comes out and the snow is done.

Just starting out...

Hi friends! So I have decided to start this blog thing too! I have several friends who blog often, and its interesting to see more detail into their lives than you would on facebook, so I thought I'd try it out too.

I'm not sure how this blog will compete with the others that I read - Mike, my new husband of 4 months, and I have no pets or kids as of yet, so I'll just be blogging about our adventures as newlyweds. Maybe someday we'll have little people to blog about!

I really don't have much more to say at this point but I'm confident that 2011 will be a good year for us, so excited to write more interesting posts here in the future!

For now, LET'S GO STEELERS!!! Hoping they beat the Jets to head to the superbowl! I'm wearing my Polamalu jersey (an AWESOME wedding gift from Mike's nephew Corey and his wife Claudia) and ready for a great game